"I'm sorry to hear that. And you thinkthat can - or rather will - happen to me?" It's more like - I'm reminded of it. I know I can't change that. I can't- and shouldn't change you because of some other person in my life. I waswrong. But I felt you should know and understand the truth on where I wascoming from." I paused. Make sure he knows that I feel guilty abouthurting him. "I understand- if you don't think we can see each otheranymore."He placed his hands around my hands which were around my coffee cup."Thank you for telling me." He paused for a moment. "How about you? Doyou think you can continue to see me? Even if I continue to ride? We allcannot live in fear for what may happen tomorrow." You're right," I said. "We don't know what tomorrow will bring." Ilooked into his eyes and smiled. My only real 'play' right now is thatthe butterfly effect will somehow change what Chase will be doing thatfateful day in 2006. Especially if I do stay here and I continue to datehim.He smiled. ‘I do, but I can’t help what I feel inside me, in both senses of the word. But…but it’s you I want inside me, as you are now, more than John.’ ‘Oh Christ Carol! Don’t tear us all apart by saying any of this to John or Sally. I love you as I do the other two, so let’s keep everything in perspective and then we can carry on like this for God knows how long,’ and then began to move myself in and out of her, bringing her up to another orgasm and me finally coming into that sweet little cave that I liked fucking as much as that of Sally and the tighter one of John, not wanting to lose any of them. To sort of finish off this dialogue that we’d had, I did, at a later time, ask John if he would give up Carol if I gave up Sally so that just the two of us could live and have sex together for all time? It was asked obliquely as a pure hypothesis and his answer was an unequivocal yes. So it was me put into the quandary but I wouldn’t budge in giving up either Sally and Carol just for John,.
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